Closing In On the Light
I'm a teenager who struggles with depression and it's only gotten worse with all the major life changes that have been going on. Sometimes, I simply can't motivate myself to get out of bed, even if I want to. Sometimes, I stay up all night lost in my own thoughts because I just can't get to sleep. Sometimes, some little voice in my brain tells me to just take a knife from the kitchen and.... But I have so many people in my life that have been by my side. My nana and papa, who I currently live with, could have been like so many other adults, seeing me as lazy, attention-seeking, and overreacting, but no. They signed me up for homeschool which has been a lot easier on me. They've stopped asking if I WANT to go out to lunch with them but whether I'm ABLE TO. They've started telling me outright that they're not mad at me when they need to talk to me, as I always get anxious when an adult speaks to me because I feel like I'm in trouble. My nana reminds me to take my meds every day. The list goes on and on. Even though they're older, they understand. My father is a big help, too; he's more like a friend than a parent, honestly. He remembers when he was going through depression like me and has been aiming to help me every step of the way. The world needs more fathers like him. My homeschool teachers are also incredible, but of special note is my English teacher. I had an assignment on human rights and realized partway through that the topic is just too upsetting for me. So, after building up my courage for days, I finally e-mailed her about it. Her response was, "Let me see what I can do." She could have easily told me to just suck it up, but no. Due to currently living in a senior neighborhood, I don't make many real-life friends, but my friends online are just as good as any "real" friend. They listen to me, even when I talk about things they don't understand, and they're there whenever they can manage. They always try to find time for little old me and that in itself just means so much. I may be deep in a dark tunnel right now, but with the help of the people in my life, the light at the end is getting closer and closer.