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I read a blog post the other day from a writer who was identifying 15 things that happy people do differently from unhappy people. The list included things like love vs. fear, trust vs. doubt, praising vs. criticizing, kindness vs. cruelty, and taking responsibility vs. blaming. One of the items on the list that struck me as interesting, though not necessarily surprising, was "forgiveness vs. unforgiveness" (I'm not sure that's actually a word). It got me thinking about the importance of both forgiving and asking for forgiveness, and prompted me to share the following story:
Almost 17 years ago, I met someone on an Outward Bound wilderness adventure in the mountains of Montana. The man lived in Minnesota and, when our trip was over, invited me to come visit he and his family if I were ever going to be in his part of the country. While many people say things like this, I knew that he meant it.
Sure enough, over the following 10 or more years, I had a number of occasions to be going through Minnesota and I stayed with this friend and got to know his family well. Our friendship blossomed and I always looked forward to the visits.
To make a long story short, something happened along the way to cause a break in that relationship and I've not seen or heard from him since. In all honesty, I have no idea what it was and to this day, it hurts me to think that I inadvertently did something to cause the break. I think of the family often and wish there were a way to repair whatever damage was done.
Well today, I decided to try. I wrote them a letter asking forgiveness for anything I may have done and for the chance to "clean up" whatever mess I/we may have made in the relationship. I thought carefully about how to strike the appropriate tone and hope that it's received in the right way. Time will tell, I suppose.
I imagine many of us have similar relationship "messes" we may have created or at least contributed to. Cleaning them up is likely to be as kind to the other people as it is to ourselves. I can readily understand why this made the list of 15 things happy people do differently from unhappy people. Wouldn't the world be a happier and kinder place if we could ask for and grant forgiveness to each other
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I read a blog post the other day from a writer who was identifying 15 things that happy people do differently from unhappy people. The list included things like love vs. fear, trust vs. doubt, praising vs. criticizing, kindness vs. cruelty, and taking responsibility vs. blaming. One of the items on the list that struck me as interesting, though not necessarily surprising, was "forgiveness vs. unforgiveness" (I'm not sure that's actually a word). It got me thinking about the importance of both forgiving and asking for forgiveness, and prompted me to share the following story:
Almost 17 years ago, I met someone on an Outward Bound wilderness adventure in the mountains of Montana. The man lived in Minnesota and, when our trip was over, invited me to come visit he and his family if I were ever going to be in his part of the country. While many people say things like this, I knew that he meant it.
Sure enough, over the following 10 or more years, I had a number of occasions to be going through Minnesota and I stayed with this friend and got to know his family well. Our friendship blossomed and I always looked forward to the visits.
To make a long story short, something happened along the way to cause a break in that relationship and I've not seen or heard from him since. In all honesty, I have no idea what it was and to this day, it hurts me to think that I inadvertently did something to cause the break. I think of the family often and wish there were a way to repair whatever damage was done.
Well today, I decided to try. I wrote them a letter asking forgiveness for anything I may have done and for the chance to "clean up" whatever mess I/we may have made in the relationship. I thought carefully about how to strike the appropriate tone and hope that it's received in the right way. Time will tell, I suppose.
I imagine many of us have similar relationship "messes" we may have created or at least contributed to. Cleaning them up is likely to be as kind to the other people as it is to ourselves. I can readily understand why this made the list of 15 things happy people do differently from unhappy people. Wouldn't the world be a happier and kinder place if we could ask for and grant forgiveness to each other
[comments] => Comment (0)
[avatar] =>
)
Posted by: David Friedman
on Apr 15, 2012
I read a blog post the other day from a writer who was identifying 15 things that happy people do differently from unhappy people. The list included things like love vs. fear, trust vs. doubt, praising vs. criticizing, kindness vs. cruelty, and taking responsibility vs. blaming. One of the items on the list that struck me as interesting, though not necessarily surprising, was "forgiveness vs. unforgiveness" (I'm not sure that's actually a word). It got me thinking about the importance of both forgiving and asking for forgiveness, and prompted me to share the following story:
Almost 17 years ago, I met someone on an Outward Bound wilderness adventure in the mountains of Montana. The man lived in Minnesota and, when our trip was over, invited me to come visit he and his family if I were ever going to be in his part of the country. While many people say things like this, I knew that he meant it.
Sure enough, over the following 10 or more years, I had a number of occasions to be going through Minnesota and I stayed with this friend and got to know his family well. Our friendship blossomed and I always looked forward to the visits.
To make a long story short, something happened along the way to cause a break in that relationship and I've not seen or heard from him since. In all honesty, I have no idea what it was and to this day, it hurts me to think that I inadvertently did something to cause the break. I think of the family often and wish there were a way to repair whatever damage was done.
Well today, I decided to try. I wrote them a letter asking forgiveness for anything I may have done and for the chance to "clean up" whatever mess I/we may have made in the relationship. I thought carefully about how to strike the appropriate tone and hope that it's received in the right way. Time will tell, I suppose.
I imagine many of us have similar relationship "messes" we may have created or at least contributed to. Cleaning them up is likely to be as kind to the other people as it is to ourselves. I can readily understand why this made the list of 15 things happy people do differently from unhappy people. Wouldn't the world be a happier and kinder place if we could ask for and grant forgiveness to each other
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"At the end of the game, The king and the pawn go back in the same box."
-- Italian proverb
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"At the end of the game, The king and the pawn go back in the same box."
-- Italian proverb
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Posted by: Eric Winger
on Apr 14, 2012
Tagged in: Untagged
"At the end of the game, The king and the pawn go back in the same box."
-- Italian proverb
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This morning was our official "opening day" tournament at the club where I play golf, Riverton Country Club. The tournament was to start at 8:30 and so I wanted to be there by 7:45 to hit some balls and warm up first. Unfortunately, after all the flight delays I had last night, I didn't arrive home until around 1:15 a.m., so I was moving pretty slowly this morning. By the time I left my house it was already pushing 8:00. I had thought about buying a whole bunch of hot pretzels to give to all the caddies but that would have taken me in the opposite direction and I wasn't sure I could make it in time.
Fortunately, there's a Dunkin' Donuts on the way to the club, so I stopped in there and bought a ton of those "munchkin" donut holes for them to enjoy. When I swung into the bag drop area, I gave them to one of the caddies and he put them in the "shack" where they gather before going on the course. It wasn't a big deal -- just a simple gesture of appreciation for their efforts.
As I was driving toward the club debating whether or not I had time to get pretzels, donuts, or nothing at all, it occurred to me how much time can factor into our willingness to be kind. Often, when we're rushing, not only do we not want to take the time to go out of our way to help another person, but we're often annoyed at others because they become obstacles slowing us down from getting where we're trying to go. If I had seen someone with a flat tire, or someone who needed a ride, or even just directions, I might not have stopped to help because I was behind schedule. However, if I saw the same need but had plenty of time, I would be much more likely to stop and offer my help.
I tend to be pretty careful about punctuality and making sure I'm where I say I'll be when I say I'll be there. However, I often seem to be pushing the envelope because I end up leaving my house just a shade later than I intend. This doesn't allow much room for unexpected kindness. I'll be curious to see how my response to kindness opportunities changes when I do a better job of giving myself more time.
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This morning was our official "opening day" tournament at the club where I play golf, Riverton Country Club. The tournament was to start at 8:30 and so I wanted to be there by 7:45 to hit some balls and warm up first. Unfortunately, after all the flight delays I had last night, I didn't arrive home until around 1:15 a.m., so I was moving pretty slowly this morning. By the time I left my house it was already pushing 8:00. I had thought about buying a whole bunch of hot pretzels to give to all the caddies but that would have taken me in the opposite direction and I wasn't sure I could make it in time.
Fortunately, there's a Dunkin' Donuts on the way to the club, so I stopped in there and bought a ton of those "munchkin" donut holes for them to enjoy. When I swung into the bag drop area, I gave them to one of the caddies and he put them in the "shack" where they gather before going on the course. It wasn't a big deal -- just a simple gesture of appreciation for their efforts.
As I was driving toward the club debating whether or not I had time to get pretzels, donuts, or nothing at all, it occurred to me how much time can factor into our willingness to be kind. Often, when we're rushing, not only do we not want to take the time to go out of our way to help another person, but we're often annoyed at others because they become obstacles slowing us down from getting where we're trying to go. If I had seen someone with a flat tire, or someone who needed a ride, or even just directions, I might not have stopped to help because I was behind schedule. However, if I saw the same need but had plenty of time, I would be much more likely to stop and offer my help.
I tend to be pretty careful about punctuality and making sure I'm where I say I'll be when I say I'll be there. However, I often seem to be pushing the envelope because I end up leaving my house just a shade later than I intend. This doesn't allow much room for unexpected kindness. I'll be curious to see how my response to kindness opportunities changes when I do a better job of giving myself more time.
[comments] => Comment (0)
[avatar] =>
)
Posted by: David Friedman
on Apr 14, 2012
This morning was our official "opening day" tournament at the club where I play golf, Riverton Country Club. The tournament was to start at 8:30 and so I wanted to be there by 7:45 to hit some balls and warm up first. Unfortunately, after all the flight delays I had last night, I didn't arrive home until around 1:15 a.m., so I was moving pretty slowly this morning. By the time I left my house it was already pushing 8:00. I had thought about buying a whole bunch of hot pretzels to give to all the caddies but that would have taken me in the opposite direction and I wasn't sure I could make it in time.
Fortunately, there's a Dunkin' Donuts on the way to the club, so I stopped in there and bought a ton of those "munchkin" donut holes for them to enjoy. When I swung into the bag drop area, I gave them to one of the caddies and he put them in the "shack" where they gather before going on the course. It wasn't a big deal -- just a simple gesture of appreciation for their efforts.
As I was driving toward the club debating whether or not I had time to get pretzels, donuts, or nothing at all, it occurred to me how much time can factor into our willingness to be kind. Often, when we're rushing, not only do we not want to take the time to go out of our way to help another person, but we're often annoyed at others because they become obstacles slowing us down from getting where we're trying to go. If I had seen someone with a flat tire, or someone who needed a ride, or even just directions, I might not have stopped to help because I was behind schedule. However, if I saw the same need but had plenty of time, I would be much more likely to stop and offer my help.
I tend to be pretty careful about punctuality and making sure I'm where I say I'll be when I say I'll be there. However, I often seem to be pushing the envelope because I end up leaving my house just a shade later than I intend. This doesn't allow much room for unexpected kindness. I'll be curious to see how my response to kindness opportunities changes when I do a better job of giving myself more time.
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"A rose by any other name is still a rose."
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Posted by: Eric Winger
on Apr 13, 2012
Tagged in: Untagged
"A rose by any other name is still a rose."
-- William Shakespeare
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[title] => Kindness on the Road
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As I was traveling home from Little Rock through Charlotte and on to Philadelphia today, there was no shortage of opportunities to be kind. Among the things I did intentionally today, I’ll mention three of them here:
As is usually the case, the boarding process for my flight began with those needing special assistance. On the first leg of the trip there was an older woman who had great difficulty walking. She was wheeled down the ramp and then slowly made her way onto the plane. When I took my seat, I found that I was only one row in front of her. Noticing that she had struggled to put her handbag in the overhead compartment above her, I made a mental note to be sure to help retrieve her bag when the plane landed. Sure enough, I was able to quickly reach it for her when we arrived in Charlotte. She seemed surprised, not thinking that anyone had noticed or would go out of their way to help. Hopefully I was able to make her travels just a tiny bit easier.
When we landed in Charlotte, I navigated my way through the airport to the gate for my next flight. On my way, I passed a mother taking a picture of her young daughter, as if it might have been her first trip to an airport. I stopped and offered to take a picture of the two of them, to which the mother readily agreed. My third act was really a series of acts. More specifically, I made a point to look at the nametag of each worker that I encountered and to use their name in conversation, even if it was simply to thank them. This included several TSA employees in Little Rock, the gate personnel at each airport, and the flight attendants on each flight. I’ve talked about the importance of using people’s names before and am always struck by the way in which it changes the quality of a routine exchange. The other person magically becomes a real human, instead of just a role. It’s such a simple gesture, but it does seem to inject a bit of humanity into the mostly impersonal process of moving millions of people from one place to another.
I want to take a moment to thank the many people who wrote me e-mails and posted comments about yesterday’s story of Jeff, the world’s most amazing men’s room attendant. He truly was remarkable and an inspiration. Please also continue to share this blog with family, friends, and co-workers who you think might benefit from reading daily stories of kindness.
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As I was traveling home from Little Rock through Charlotte and on to Philadelphia today, there was no shortage of opportunities to be kind. Among the things I did intentionally today, I’ll mention three of them here:
As is usually the case, the boarding process for my flight began with those needing special assistance. On the first leg of the trip there was an older woman who had great difficulty walking. She was wheeled down the ramp and then slowly made her way onto the plane. When I took my seat, I found that I was only one row in front of her. Noticing that she had struggled to put her handbag in the overhead compartment above her, I made a mental note to be sure to help retrieve her bag when the plane landed. Sure enough, I was able to quickly reach it for her when we arrived in Charlotte. She seemed surprised, not thinking that anyone had noticed or would go out of their way to help. Hopefully I was able to make her travels just a tiny bit easier.
When we landed in Charlotte, I navigated my way through the airport to the gate for my next flight. On my way, I passed a mother taking a picture of her young daughter, as if it might have been her first trip to an airport. I stopped and offered to take a picture of the two of them, to which the mother readily agreed.
My third act was really a series of acts. More specifically, I made a point to look at the nametag of each worker that I encountered and to use their name in conversation, even if it was simply to thank them. This included several TSA employees in Little Rock, the gate personnel at each airport, and the flight attendants on each flight. I’ve talked about the importance of using people’s names before and am always struck by the way in which it changes the quality of a routine exchange. The other person magically becomes a real human, instead of just a role. It’s such a simple gesture, but it does seem to inject a bit of humanity into the mostly impersonal process of moving millions of people from one place to another.
I want to take a moment to thank the many people who wrote me e-mails and posted comments about yesterday’s story of Jeff, the world’s most amazing men’s room attendant. He truly was remarkable and an inspiration. Please also continue to share this blog with family, friends, and co-workers who you think might benefit from reading daily stories of kindness.
[comments] => Comment (0)
[avatar] =>
)
Posted by: David Friedman
on Apr 13, 2012
As I was traveling home from Little Rock through Charlotte and on to Philadelphia today, there was no shortage of opportunities to be kind. Among the things I did intentionally today, I’ll mention three of them here:
As is usually the case, the boarding process for my flight began with those needing special assistance. On the first leg of the trip there was an older woman who had great difficulty walking. She was wheeled down the ramp and then slowly made her way onto the plane. When I took my seat, I found that I was only one row in front of her. Noticing that she had struggled to put her handbag in the overhead compartment above her, I made a mental note to be sure to help retrieve her bag when the plane landed. Sure enough, I was able to quickly reach it for her when we arrived in Charlotte. She seemed surprised, not thinking that anyone had noticed or would go out of their way to help. Hopefully I was able to make her travels just a tiny bit easier.
When we landed in Charlotte, I navigated my way through the airport to the gate for my next flight. On my way, I passed a mother taking a picture of her young daughter, as if it might have been her first trip to an airport. I stopped and offered to take a picture of the two of them, to which the mother readily agreed.
My third act was really a series of acts. More specifically, I made a point to look at the nametag of each worker that I encountered and to use their name in conversation, even if it was simply to thank them. This included several TSA employees in Little Rock, the gate personnel at each airport, and the flight attendants on each flight. I’ve talked about the importance of using people’s names before and am always struck by the way in which it changes the quality of a routine exchange. The other person magically becomes a real human, instead of just a role. It’s such a simple gesture, but it does seem to inject a bit of humanity into the mostly impersonal process of moving millions of people from one place to another.
I want to take a moment to thank the many people who wrote me e-mails and posted comments about yesterday’s story of Jeff, the world’s most amazing men’s room attendant. He truly was remarkable and an inspiration. Please also continue to share this blog with family, friends, and co-workers who you think might benefit from reading daily stories of kindness.
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"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. "
-- Author Unknown
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Posted by: Eric Winger
on Apr 12, 2012
Tagged in: Untagged
"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. "
-- Author Unknown
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I’m sitting in the airport in Charlotte waiting to board a plane to Little Rock, Arkansas and though I may not get to post this until later tonight, I’m so excited about an experience I had this morning that I need to write about it right now. Here’s what happened:
My flight from Philadelphia arrived here a good 45 minutes early so I have plenty of time before my next flight departs. After departing the airplane, I stopped at the nearest men’s room. In most the of restrooms in the Charlotte airport, they have attendants who hand out paper towels and things like that, and of course, they have a tip jar sitting there. I usually find this a bit annoying since I can get my own paper towels and don’t like feeling obligated to leave a tip for something I didn’t need or want. This time it was different though.
Everyone who walked in was met with the most enthusiastic greeting by the attendant. Wearing a name tag that read "Jeffrey", he smiled and joked with everyone and seemed to be about the happiest guy I had ever seen. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen someone so full of genuine joy. I made a little small talk with him and then was on my way. As I headed on the fairly lengthy walk to the E terminal for my next flight, I couldn’t stop thinking about how unusual this man was. It occurred to me that I was missing an opportunity to meet someone special and so I turned around and headed all the way back to where I had been 10 minutes earlier.
When I got there I introduced myself to Jeff and told him that I was so impressed with his enthusiasm and wanted to know more about him and his attitude. He told me that he figures “heaven and hell are right here on earth” and he “might as well choose heaven.” “There ain’t no other way,” he said. He told me that he just chooses to spread love every day. “I could be shoveling *&^%* and I’d do it great,” he explained. He truly was a remarkable man. As I gave him my Kindness card and told him that I wanted to write about him, a man who had overheard our conversation walked by and told Jeff that he was inspiring a lot of people. He said that while I was going to write about him, he was going to tell his team at work about Jeff! I gave Jeff a healthy tip and we shook hands.
After writing all this, I realized that I should have gotten a picture of him. So I walked all the way back one more time (!) and he posed for the picture I’ve included with this post. I was hoping he’d be around when I pass through again tomorrow night so I could learn more, but he told me that he’s off on Fridays and Saturdays.
There’s so much that’s great about this story. Of course, the heart of it is Jeff and what we can all learn from him. I’ve often said that greatness is a choice. Jeff makes that choice each and every day. As he noted, he’d choose to be great no matter what he was doing. Kindness is also a choice. Like greatness, we all have the ability to make that choice regardless of our job, our age, our socio-economic status, our religion, our nationality or anything else. It’s simply a choice we make. And it’s a daily choice. No matter what choices we may have made in the past, we can choose to be kind today.
The other thing that was significant about this story was that I didn’t let the opportunity to get to know Jeff pass me by. I almost did. I met him the first time and left without making the effort to connect in a deeper and more personal way. After all, he was just the attendant in a men’s room in the Charlotte airport. And I was already 10 minutes away by the time I started to consider it more seriously. It would have been much easier to simply keep going.
But to think of Jeff as just a “men’s room attendant” would be completely missing the point. He’s an amazing, energetic, enthusiastic, soulful man who’s making the world a better place every single day. And I’m better for having gotten to know him just a bit.
One final thought from this morning’s encounter: I wonder how many other times we “label” people by their job and, as a result, fail to truly consider the fullness of their humanity. I’m going to try to be better about that in the future.
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I’m sitting in the airport in Charlotte waiting to board a plane to Little Rock, Arkansas and though I may not get to post this until later tonight, I’m so excited about an experience I had this morning that I need to write about it right now. Here’s what happened:
My flight from Philadelphia arrived here a good 45 minutes early so I have plenty of time before my next flight departs. After departing the airplane, I stopped at the nearest men’s room. In most the of restrooms in the Charlotte airport, they have attendants who hand out paper towels and things like that, and of course, they have a tip jar sitting there. I usually find this a bit annoying since I can get my own paper towels and don’t like feeling obligated to leave a tip for something I didn’t need or want. This time it was different though.
Everyone who walked in was met with the most enthusiastic greeting by the attendant. Wearing a name tag that read "Jeffrey", he smiled and joked with everyone and seemed to be about the happiest guy I had ever seen. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen someone so full of genuine joy. I made a little small talk with him and then was on my way. As I headed on the fairly lengthy walk to the E terminal for my next flight, I couldn’t stop thinking about how unusual this man was. It occurred to me that I was missing an opportunity to meet someone special and so I turned around and headed all the way back to where I had been 10 minutes earlier.
When I got there I introduced myself to Jeff and told him that I was so impressed with his enthusiasm and wanted to know more about him and his attitude. He told me that he figures “heaven and hell are right here on earth” and he “might as well choose heaven.” “There ain’t no other way,” he said. He told me that he just chooses to spread love every day. “I could be shoveling *&^%* and I’d do it great,” he explained. He truly was a remarkable man. As I gave him my Kindness card and told him that I wanted to write about him, a man who had overheard our conversation walked by and told Jeff that he was inspiring a lot of people. He said that while I was going to write about him, he was going to tell his team at work about Jeff! I gave Jeff a healthy tip and we shook hands.
After writing all this, I realized that I should have gotten a picture of him. So I walked all the way back one more time (!) and he posed for the picture I’ve included with this post. I was hoping he’d be around when I pass through again tomorrow night so I could learn more, but he told me that he’s off on Fridays and Saturdays.
There’s so much that’s great about this story. Of course, the heart of it is Jeff and what we can all learn from him. I’ve often said that greatness is a choice. Jeff makes that choice each and every day. As he noted, he’d choose to be great no matter what he was doing. Kindness is also a choice. Like greatness, we all have the ability to make that choice regardless of our job, our age, our socio-economic status, our religion, our nationality or anything else. It’s simply a choice we make. And it’s a daily choice. No matter what choices we may have made in the past, we can choose to be kind today.
The other thing that was significant about this story was that I didn’t let the opportunity to get to know Jeff pass me by. I almost did. I met him the first time and left without making the effort to connect in a deeper and more personal way. After all, he was just the attendant in a men’s room in the Charlotte airport. And I was already 10 minutes away by the time I started to consider it more seriously. It would have been much easier to simply keep going.
But to think of Jeff as just a “men’s room attendant” would be completely missing the point. He’s an amazing, energetic, enthusiastic, soulful man who’s making the world a better place every single day. And I’m better for having gotten to know him just a bit.
One final thought from this morning’s encounter: I wonder how many other times we “label” people by their job and, as a result, fail to truly consider the fullness of their humanity. I’m going to try to be better about that in the future.
[comments] => Comment (0)
[avatar] =>
)
Posted by: David Friedman
on Apr 12, 2012
I’m sitting in the airport in Charlotte waiting to board a plane to Little Rock, Arkansas and though I may not get to post this until later tonight, I’m so excited about an experience I had this morning that I need to write about it right now. Here’s what happened:
My flight from Philadelphia arrived here a good 45 minutes early so I have plenty of time before my next flight departs. After departing the airplane, I stopped at the nearest men’s room. In most the of restrooms in the Charlotte airport, they have attendants who hand out paper towels and things like that, and of course, they have a tip jar sitting there. I usually find this a bit annoying since I can get my own paper towels and don’t like feeling obligated to leave a tip for something I didn’t need or want. This time it was different though.
Everyone who walked in was met with the most enthusiastic greeting by the attendant. Wearing a name tag that read "Jeffrey", he smiled and joked with everyone and seemed to be about the happiest guy I had ever seen. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen someone so full of genuine joy. I made a little small talk with him and then was on my way. As I headed on the fairly lengthy walk to the E terminal for my next flight, I couldn’t stop thinking about how unusual this man was. It occurred to me that I was missing an opportunity to meet someone special and so I turned around and headed all the way back to where I had been 10 minutes earlier.
When I got there I introduced myself to Jeff and told him that I was so impressed with his enthusiasm and wanted to know more about him and his attitude. He told me that he figures “heaven and hell are right here on earth” and he “might as well choose heaven.” “There ain’t no other way,” he said. He told me that he just chooses to spread love every day. “I could be shoveling *&^%* and I’d do it great,” he explained. He truly was a remarkable man. As I gave him my Kindness card and told him that I wanted to write about him, a man who had overheard our conversation walked by and told Jeff that he was inspiring a lot of people. He said that while I was going to write about him, he was going to tell his team at work about Jeff! I gave Jeff a healthy tip and we shook hands.
After writing all this, I realized that I should have gotten a picture of him. So I walked all the way back one more time (!) and he posed for the picture I’ve included with this post. I was hoping he’d be around when I pass through again tomorrow night so I could learn more, but he told me that he’s off on Fridays and Saturdays.
There’s so much that’s great about this story. Of course, the heart of it is Jeff and what we can all learn from him. I’ve often said that greatness is a choice. Jeff makes that choice each and every day. As he noted, he’d choose to be great no matter what he was doing. Kindness is also a choice. Like greatness, we all have the ability to make that choice regardless of our job, our age, our socio-economic status, our religion, our nationality or anything else. It’s simply a choice we make. And it’s a daily choice. No matter what choices we may have made in the past, we can choose to be kind today.
The other thing that was significant about this story was that I didn’t let the opportunity to get to know Jeff pass me by. I almost did. I met him the first time and left without making the effort to connect in a deeper and more personal way. After all, he was just the attendant in a men’s room in the Charlotte airport. And I was already 10 minutes away by the time I started to consider it more seriously. It would have been much easier to simply keep going.
But to think of Jeff as just a “men’s room attendant” would be completely missing the point. He’s an amazing, energetic, enthusiastic, soulful man who’s making the world a better place every single day. And I’m better for having gotten to know him just a bit.
One final thought from this morning’s encounter: I wonder how many other times we “label” people by their job and, as a result, fail to truly consider the fullness of their humanity. I’m going to try to be better about that in the future.
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Posted by: Eric Winger
on Apr 11, 2012
Tagged in: Untagged
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
-- Dennis Wholey
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As I think about the acts of kindness that I've done this year, it occurs to me that they can broadly be divided into two "buckets." Many of them I might call "surprises" in that I offered a totally unexpected kindness to someone, often a complete stranger. Providing a Starbucks gift card, giving someone flowers, bringing hot chocolate to school crossing guards, or delivering pretzels to the firehouse all fit into this category. Other acts, while they still might not be expected, are done as a direct response to a perceived need. Driving a cancer patient to a doctor's appointment, helping someone with their groceries, buying diapers and baby supplies for teen mothers, or even picking up trash at a playground are all examples of this.
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Today's act was a very simple gesture that was a response to seeing a need. I was coming out of a 7-11 store and as I approached my car I noticed an older, heavyset woman struggling to the curb. She had trouble walking and, believe it or not, negotiating the high curb that separated the parking lot from the sidewalk in front of the store was a major challenge. Seeing her struggle, I immediately walked over and offered my help. I let her lean on my shoulder and assisted her up to the sidewalk. She was so appreciative of the help and thanked me several times. It was one of those small moments that really are the essence of kindness. It was also a good reminder that we don't have to do anything creative or magical or expensive. Simply looking out for one another and offering a helping hand when needed can be more powerful and meaningful than a more elaborate gesture.
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As I think about the acts of kindness that I've done this year, it occurs to me that they can broadly be divided into two "buckets." Many of them I might call "surprises" in that I offered a totally unexpected kindness to someone, often a complete stranger. Providing a Starbucks gift card, giving someone flowers, bringing hot chocolate to school crossing guards, or delivering pretzels to the firehouse all fit into this category. Other acts, while they still might not be expected, are done as a direct response to a perceived need. Driving a cancer patient to a doctor's appointment, helping someone with their groceries, buying diapers and baby supplies for teen mothers, or even picking up trash at a playground are all examples of this.
Each type of act has its own impact (and its own reward). It's fun to light up someone's face and really make their day with a surprise gesture of kindness. It can change their whole orientation to the world which, in turn, can change what they do. On the other hand, there's nothing quite like seeing a need that I can fill, and just going with it. Often it's catching someone at a vulnerable point and doing something to make a difference.
Today's act was a very simple gesture that was a response to seeing a need. I was coming out of a 7-11 store and as I approached my car I noticed an older, heavyset woman struggling to the curb. She had trouble walking and, believe it or not, negotiating the high curb that separated the parking lot from the sidewalk in front of the store was a major challenge. Seeing her struggle, I immediately walked over and offered my help. I let her lean on my shoulder and assisted her up to the sidewalk. She was so appreciative of the help and thanked me several times. It was one of those small moments that really are the essence of kindness. It was also a good reminder that we don't have to do anything creative or magical or expensive. Simply looking out for one another and offering a helping hand when needed can be more powerful and meaningful than a more elaborate gesture.
[comments] => Comment (0)
[avatar] =>
)
Posted by: David Friedman
on Apr 11, 2012
As I think about the acts of kindness that I've done this year, it occurs to me that they can broadly be divided into two "buckets." Many of them I might call "surprises" in that I offered a totally unexpected kindness to someone, often a complete stranger. Providing a Starbucks gift card, giving someone flowers, bringing hot chocolate to school crossing guards, or delivering pretzels to the firehouse all fit into this category. Other acts, while they still might not be expected, are done as a direct response to a perceived need. Driving a cancer patient to a doctor's appointment, helping someone with their groceries, buying diapers and baby supplies for teen mothers, or even picking up trash at a playground are all examples of this.
Each type of act has its own impact (and its own reward). It's fun to light up someone's face and really make their day with a surprise gesture of kindness. It can change their whole orientation to the world which, in turn, can change what they do. On the other hand, there's nothing quite like seeing a need that I can fill, and just going with it. Often it's catching someone at a vulnerable point and doing something to make a difference.
Today's act was a very simple gesture that was a response to seeing a need. I was coming out of a 7-11 store and as I approached my car I noticed an older, heavyset woman struggling to the curb. She had trouble walking and, believe it or not, negotiating the high curb that separated the parking lot from the sidewalk in front of the store was a major challenge. Seeing her struggle, I immediately walked over and offered my help. I let her lean on my shoulder and assisted her up to the sidewalk. She was so appreciative of the help and thanked me several times. It was one of those small moments that really are the essence of kindness. It was also a good reminder that we don't have to do anything creative or magical or expensive. Simply looking out for one another and offering a helping hand when needed can be more powerful and meaningful than a more elaborate gesture.
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-- Elbert Hubbard
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Posted by: Eric Winger
on Apr 10, 2012
Tagged in: Untagged
"If you want work well done, select a busy man - the other kind has no time."
-- Elbert Hubbard
As I was driving toward the club debating whether or not I had time to get pretzels, donuts, or nothing at all, it occurred to me how much time can factor into our willingness to be kind. Often, when we're rushing, not only do we not want to take the time to go out of our way to help another person, but we're often annoyed at others because they become obstacles slowing us down from getting where we're trying to go. If I had seen someone with a flat tire, or someone who needed a ride, or even just directions, I might not have stopped to help because I was behind schedule. However, if I saw the same need but had plenty of time, I would be much more likely to stop and offer my help. 
