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newlink: /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/Array ( [id] => 434 [title] => Words: The Power to hurt or help [alias] => [title_alias] => [introtext] =>

“We live in a world of words. What we say about ourselves, to ourselves, about others and to others creates our reality.  …. Words are everything to us” Reb David

I recently caused someone pain when I made a poor word choice in describing a challenge he is facing.  It wasn’t my intention to cause pain but it did. This person responded by being angry, resentful, and defensive.

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“We live in a world of words. What we say about ourselves, to ourselves, about others and to others creates our reality.  …. Words are everything to us” Reb David

I recently caused someone pain when I made a poor word choice in describing a challenge he is facing.  It wasn’t my intention to cause pain but it did. This person responded by being angry, resentful, and defensive.

[comments] => Comment (3) [avatar] => Amy Dee-Kristensen )

Words: The Power to hurt or help

Posted by: Amy Dee-Kristensen

Tagged in: Untagged 

Amy Dee-Kristensen

“We live in a world of words. What we say about ourselves, to ourselves, about others and to others creates our reality.  …. Words are everything to us” Reb David

I recently caused someone pain when I made a poor word choice in describing a challenge he is facing.  It wasn’t my intention to cause pain but it did. This person responded by being angry, resentful, and defensive.


newlink: /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/Array ( [id] => 274 [title] => Workplace Friends [alias] => [title_alias] => [introtext] =>

In addition to traveling around the United States giving keynotes and leading workshops, I work as a psychiatric RN for a few hours a month. I retain my nursing job  to maintain my nursing license, to keep up my knowledge of nursing, but mostly because I love my co-workers. They are like second family to me. We tease and laugh with each other. When times are difficult we co-miserate or console each other. Because of my co-workers, my job is a great place to be.

One evening, we were short staffed and admits were coming faster then we could manage. A co-worker, who'd worked a twelve hour shift, stayed an additional two hours to ease our workload.

That kind of stuff happens all the time where I work. We help each other when we can.

Another time I'd misread the schedule and didn't realize I was suppose to work at 7 am. At about 7:15 I received a call asking me where I was. The hospital is an hour away from my home. I frantically apologized and began throwing on clothes to get ready. Besides all of that fuss, my cat had an infection and a veterinary appointment that morning.

Moments later my phone rang again. My co-worker who'd called previously, had sympathized with my dilemna and in moments managed to find replacements for my shift. She even stayed later that morning until they arrived. It wasn't necessary, it wasn't expected, but it was so kind.

I've helped co-workers out in a pinch too. I've taken their four hour shift (which makes little sense when I drive an hour each way) just because they really needed the help. When needed, I stay late to help out or I come in extra early. Not expected, not convenient but that's what acts of kindness are about.

 The book "Vital Friends" by Tom Rath reveals how valuable it is to have a best friend at work. Employee engagement, satisfaction, and retention is much higher. Work place productivity and profits increase.  Working with friends is wonderful.

In grade school, I recall complaining to my mom that I had "no friends" .
My mom responded," Amy,if you want to have friends, you first have to be a friend."

Good advice. Friends help each other when it is least expected. Friends help each other when it is not convenient. What can you do to help a co-worker today? What can you do to make your workplace one  big, happy, second family?

 




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In addition to traveling around the United States giving keynotes and leading workshops, I work as a psychiatric RN for a few hours a month. I retain my nursing job  to maintain my nursing license, to keep up my knowledge of nursing, but mostly because I love my co-workers. They are like second family to me. We tease and laugh with each other. When times are difficult we co-miserate or console each other. Because of my co-workers, my job is a great place to be.

One evening, we were short staffed and admits were coming faster then we could manage. A co-worker, who'd worked a twelve hour shift, stayed an additional two hours to ease our workload.

That kind of stuff happens all the time where I work. We help each other when we can.

Another time I'd misread the schedule and didn't realize I was suppose to work at 7 am. At about 7:15 I received a call asking me where I was. The hospital is an hour away from my home. I frantically apologized and began throwing on clothes to get ready. Besides all of that fuss, my cat had an infection and a veterinary appointment that morning.

Moments later my phone rang again. My co-worker who'd called previously, had sympathized with my dilemna and in moments managed to find replacements for my shift. She even stayed later that morning until they arrived. It wasn't necessary, it wasn't expected, but it was so kind.

I've helped co-workers out in a pinch too. I've taken their four hour shift (which makes little sense when I drive an hour each way) just because they really needed the help. When needed, I stay late to help out or I come in extra early. Not expected, not convenient but that's what acts of kindness are about.

 The book "Vital Friends" by Tom Rath reveals how valuable it is to have a best friend at work. Employee engagement, satisfaction, and retention is much higher. Work place productivity and profits increase.  Working with friends is wonderful.

In grade school, I recall complaining to my mom that I had "no friends" .
My mom responded," Amy,if you want to have friends, you first have to be a friend."

Good advice. Friends help each other when it is least expected. Friends help each other when it is not convenient. What can you do to help a co-worker today? What can you do to make your workplace one  big, happy, second family?

 




[comments] => Comment (0) [avatar] => Amy Dee-Kristensen )

Workplace Friends

Posted by: Amy Dee-Kristensen

Tagged in: Untagged 

Amy Dee-Kristensen

In addition to traveling around the United States giving keynotes and leading workshops, I work as a psychiatric RN for a few hours a month. I retain my nursing job  to maintain my nursing license, to keep up my knowledge of nursing, but mostly because I love my co-workers. They are like second family to me. We tease and laugh with each other. When times are difficult we co-miserate or console each other. Because of my co-workers, my job is a great place to be.

One evening, we were short staffed and admits were coming faster then we could manage. A co-worker, who'd worked a twelve hour shift, stayed an additional two hours to ease our workload.

That kind of stuff happens all the time where I work. We help each other when we can.

Another time I'd misread the schedule and didn't realize I was suppose to work at 7 am. At about 7:15 I received a call asking me where I was. The hospital is an hour away from my home. I frantically apologized and began throwing on clothes to get ready. Besides all of that fuss, my cat had an infection and a veterinary appointment that morning.

Moments later my phone rang again. My co-worker who'd called previously, had sympathized with my dilemna and in moments managed to find replacements for my shift. She even stayed later that morning until they arrived. It wasn't necessary, it wasn't expected, but it was so kind.

I've helped co-workers out in a pinch too. I've taken their four hour shift (which makes little sense when I drive an hour each way) just because they really needed the help. When needed, I stay late to help out or I come in extra early. Not expected, not convenient but that's what acts of kindness are about.

 The book "Vital Friends" by Tom Rath reveals how valuable it is to have a best friend at work. Employee engagement, satisfaction, and retention is much higher. Work place productivity and profits increase.  Working with friends is wonderful.

In grade school, I recall complaining to my mom that I had "no friends" .
My mom responded," Amy,if you want to have friends, you first have to be a friend."

Good advice. Friends help each other when it is least expected. Friends help each other when it is not convenient. What can you do to help a co-worker today? What can you do to make your workplace one  big, happy, second family?

 





newlink: /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/Array ( [id] => 234 [title] => What a Difference a Stranger Makes [alias] => [title_alias] => [introtext] =>

My girls, Sofi,thirteen and Christine,nineteen, just returned from visiting their dad in Norway. Although they've flown often with me, this was Sofi's first time alone, and Christine's second time alone. 
Upon arriving home both girls talked about how snarly and rude they found airport personal during their trip. A flight attendent griped at a passenger who'd turned in her cups and napkins after the garbage request was finished. A passport inspector chastised the girls about going in separate lines, and mocked them when the tired kids walked off without their passport.
Story after story of people who were unkind and rude.  How sad.
On the first leg of their return trip Christine accidently left her passport on airplane. The plane arrived at 10pm in Oslo. Their  next flight left at 630am the following morning. Losing your passport is a BIG DEAL. Without it they'd not be allowed to board the plane to Amsterdam in the morning.

So they nervously waited in the only customer service line available at Gardemoen airport in Norway. There were several people ahead of them and only one customer service person to help this line of people.
Christine was afraid the plane would leave without her passport so she  gently moved ahead of others to ask a the customer service person a quick question. "Excuse me" Christine said " I just need to ask a quick question. I left my passport on the plane and I don't know what to do!" 

 The woman began yelling at my daughter "Do you think you are the only one I need to help? Go to the security station!"Christine said she was still yelling at her as they ran down the hall to security office.

At security they met a very kind officer. Christine explained that her passport was still on the plane. This gentle-man got into his personal car, drove to the hanger, opened up the airplane to find her passport. Way above and beyond the call of duty! He found her passport! He was an everyday hero! He saved the day!

Serving airline passengers over the busy holiday season must be exhausting and frustrating at times. When I am tired I am not always on my best behavior but the stories my daughters told were reminds me that I "what I do matters". 

My daughter will always remember both the rudeness of the customer service person and the  wonderful kindness of the security guard.
My encounters with others become part of their personal history. Even if someone doesn't remember my name, or what I look like, I want the "feeling memory" of me to be positive and good.

Kids are watching and learning from us.  If we want the world to be a better place it begins with us, and the way we treat others.
"Treat every encounter with another human being as a sacred encounter"


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My girls, Sofi,thirteen and Christine,nineteen, just returned from visiting their dad in Norway. Although they've flown often with me, this was Sofi's first time alone, and Christine's second time alone. 
Upon arriving home both girls talked about how snarly and rude they found airport personal during their trip. A flight attendent griped at a passenger who'd turned in her cups and napkins after the garbage request was finished. A passport inspector chastised the girls about going in separate lines, and mocked them when the tired kids walked off without their passport.
Story after story of people who were unkind and rude.  How sad.
On the first leg of their return trip Christine accidently left her passport on airplane. The plane arrived at 10pm in Oslo. Their  next flight left at 630am the following morning. Losing your passport is a BIG DEAL. Without it they'd not be allowed to board the plane to Amsterdam in the morning.

So they nervously waited in the only customer service line available at Gardemoen airport in Norway. There were several people ahead of them and only one customer service person to help this line of people.
Christine was afraid the plane would leave without her passport so she  gently moved ahead of others to ask a the customer service person a quick question. "Excuse me" Christine said " I just need to ask a quick question. I left my passport on the plane and I don't know what to do!" 

 The woman began yelling at my daughter "Do you think you are the only one I need to help? Go to the security station!"Christine said she was still yelling at her as they ran down the hall to security office.

At security they met a very kind officer. Christine explained that her passport was still on the plane. This gentle-man got into his personal car, drove to the hanger, opened up the airplane to find her passport. Way above and beyond the call of duty! He found her passport! He was an everyday hero! He saved the day!

Serving airline passengers over the busy holiday season must be exhausting and frustrating at times. When I am tired I am not always on my best behavior but the stories my daughters told were reminds me that I "what I do matters". 

My daughter will always remember both the rudeness of the customer service person and the  wonderful kindness of the security guard.
My encounters with others become part of their personal history. Even if someone doesn't remember my name, or what I look like, I want the "feeling memory" of me to be positive and good.

Kids are watching and learning from us.  If we want the world to be a better place it begins with us, and the way we treat others.
"Treat every encounter with another human being as a sacred encounter"


[comments] => Comment (4) [avatar] => Amy Dee-Kristensen )

What a Difference a Stranger Makes

Posted by: Amy Dee-Kristensen

Tagged in: Untagged 

Amy Dee-Kristensen

My girls, Sofi,thirteen and Christine,nineteen, just returned from visiting their dad in Norway. Although they've flown often with me, this was Sofi's first time alone, and Christine's second time alone. 
Upon arriving home both girls talked about how snarly and rude they found airport personal during their trip. A flight attendent griped at a passenger who'd turned in her cups and napkins after the garbage request was finished. A passport inspector chastised the girls about going in separate lines, and mocked them when the tired kids walked off without their passport.
Story after story of people who were unkind and rude.  How sad.
On the first leg of their return trip Christine accidently left her passport on airplane. The plane arrived at 10pm in Oslo. Their  next flight left at 630am the following morning. Losing your passport is a BIG DEAL. Without it they'd not be allowed to board the plane to Amsterdam in the morning.

So they nervously waited in the only customer service line available at Gardemoen airport in Norway. There were several people ahead of them and only one customer service person to help this line of people.
Christine was afraid the plane would leave without her passport so she  gently moved ahead of others to ask a the customer service person a quick question. "Excuse me" Christine said " I just need to ask a quick question. I left my passport on the plane and I don't know what to do!" 

 The woman began yelling at my daughter "Do you think you are the only one I need to help? Go to the security station!"Christine said she was still yelling at her as they ran down the hall to security office.

At security they met a very kind officer. Christine explained that her passport was still on the plane. This gentle-man got into his personal car, drove to the hanger, opened up the airplane to find her passport. Way above and beyond the call of duty! He found her passport! He was an everyday hero! He saved the day!

Serving airline passengers over the busy holiday season must be exhausting and frustrating at times. When I am tired I am not always on my best behavior but the stories my daughters told were reminds me that I "what I do matters". 

My daughter will always remember both the rudeness of the customer service person and the  wonderful kindness of the security guard.
My encounters with others become part of their personal history. Even if someone doesn't remember my name, or what I look like, I want the "feeling memory" of me to be positive and good.

Kids are watching and learning from us.  If we want the world to be a better place it begins with us, and the way we treat others.
"Treat every encounter with another human being as a sacred encounter"



newlink: /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/Array ( [id] => 206 [title] => Kindness Boomerang [alias] => [title_alias] => [introtext] =>

  In my most recent blog I wrote about an older woman I befriended. She was crabby, bossy, and smelled. She would have nothing to do with my initial friendship overtures but eventually came around and we've been talking and sharing since.
  The theme of that blog was that everyone has a back story. When we meet someone who is irritable or even rude, most often there is a reason that has nothing to do with us. 

  The theme of this blog is that kindness has a built in boomerang effect. When you treat someone with kindness you alway receive a blessing in return.
  So it is with my new friend. We've met several times at the pool and end up talking. Rather she talks and I listen to her wonderful stories about the wildlife that live around her home in the country. "J" tells me about the deer who sleep and even give birth in her backyard. She talked about an "Watch doe" to which I responded "watch dog" and she corrected me "watch doe". This doe lived in her yard and would chase off strangers she didn't like. I heard about the wild turkeys who would parade their baby chicks around her home. 
 
Story after story, she tells me about the wild animals she loves and the trust she's built with them. Her  narratives fill me with awe and joy. Another lovely piece of life I didn't have before I met her. 

  That's the kindness boomerang. When we open our hearts and reach out to others we always receive blessings in return. Very often, we receive even more than we give as is the case with my new friend "J".  I look forward to seeing her to hear her stories.
  The last time we met, she talked about "writing down my animal stories so my kids have them". Yesterday I found a journal for "J' and it's cover is filled with wildlife. I hope to present it to her today as a small "thanks' for all she's shared with me these past weeks.

  The kindness boomerang shows up when we least expect it. I thought I was doing "J" a big favor by befriending her. It turns out, she's my blessing.



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  In my most recent blog I wrote about an older woman I befriended. She was crabby, bossy, and smelled. She would have nothing to do with my initial friendship overtures but eventually came around and we've been talking and sharing since.
  The theme of that blog was that everyone has a back story. When we meet someone who is irritable or even rude, most often there is a reason that has nothing to do with us. 

  The theme of this blog is that kindness has a built in boomerang effect. When you treat someone with kindness you alway receive a blessing in return.
  So it is with my new friend. We've met several times at the pool and end up talking. Rather she talks and I listen to her wonderful stories about the wildlife that live around her home in the country. "J" tells me about the deer who sleep and even give birth in her backyard. She talked about an "Watch doe" to which I responded "watch dog" and she corrected me "watch doe". This doe lived in her yard and would chase off strangers she didn't like. I heard about the wild turkeys who would parade their baby chicks around her home. 
 
Story after story, she tells me about the wild animals she loves and the trust she's built with them. Her  narratives fill me with awe and joy. Another lovely piece of life I didn't have before I met her. 

  That's the kindness boomerang. When we open our hearts and reach out to others we always receive blessings in return. Very often, we receive even more than we give as is the case with my new friend "J".  I look forward to seeing her to hear her stories.
  The last time we met, she talked about "writing down my animal stories so my kids have them". Yesterday I found a journal for "J' and it's cover is filled with wildlife. I hope to present it to her today as a small "thanks' for all she's shared with me these past weeks.

  The kindness boomerang shows up when we least expect it. I thought I was doing "J" a big favor by befriending her. It turns out, she's my blessing.



[comments] => Comment (0) [avatar] => Amy Dee-Kristensen )

Kindness Boomerang

Posted by: Amy Dee-Kristensen

Tagged in: Untagged 

Amy Dee-Kristensen

  In my most recent blog I wrote about an older woman I befriended. She was crabby, bossy, and smelled. She would have nothing to do with my initial friendship overtures but eventually came around and we've been talking and sharing since.
  The theme of that blog was that everyone has a back story. When we meet someone who is irritable or even rude, most often there is a reason that has nothing to do with us. 

  The theme of this blog is that kindness has a built in boomerang effect. When you treat someone with kindness you alway receive a blessing in return.
  So it is with my new friend. We've met several times at the pool and end up talking. Rather she talks and I listen to her wonderful stories about the wildlife that live around her home in the country. "J" tells me about the deer who sleep and even give birth in her backyard. She talked about an "Watch doe" to which I responded "watch dog" and she corrected me "watch doe". This doe lived in her yard and would chase off strangers she didn't like. I heard about the wild turkeys who would parade their baby chicks around her home. 
 
Story after story, she tells me about the wild animals she loves and the trust she's built with them. Her  narratives fill me with awe and joy. Another lovely piece of life I didn't have before I met her. 

  That's the kindness boomerang. When we open our hearts and reach out to others we always receive blessings in return. Very often, we receive even more than we give as is the case with my new friend "J".  I look forward to seeing her to hear her stories.
  The last time we met, she talked about "writing down my animal stories so my kids have them". Yesterday I found a journal for "J' and it's cover is filled with wildlife. I hope to present it to her today as a small "thanks' for all she's shared with me these past weeks.

  The kindness boomerang shows up when we least expect it. I thought I was doing "J" a big favor by befriending her. It turns out, she's my blessing.




newlink: /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/Array ( [id] => 199 [title] => Everyone has a Back Story [alias] => [title_alias] => [introtext] =>

I like to swim at our local recreation center. Most of the people who swim there are really nice but there's one woman who has been a bit difficult.

The first time I met her, she got into the pool and barked orders for me to "Get over! I need that spot".  She also smells, bad.
I understood from others who swim that no one likes her because she's "rude and smells".  I thought about how awful she must feel, sensing that no one likes her. That's when I decided we'd become friends.

I started by saying "hi" whenever we'd meet. She usually didn't respond but I continued. Eventually I'd say "hi" then make some comment about the weather.  Sometimes she'd say "hi" back, but not always.  This has been going on for months.

Yesterday I was swimming alone when she came. I said "hi" and moved over so she could have her spot. For whatever reason, I continued talking...about the weather, the warm water, etc.
She edged her way towards me and began talking back. I couldn't believe it! I quit swimming so we could converse.

It turns out "J" is in alot of pain. Thirty years ago she'd been hit by a drunk driver and her back was hurt so badly she was paralyzed for awhile. Swimming got her walking again. But she's not been able to work all these years. Turns out she's been in an unhappy marriage. They almost divorced but didn't. "Now" she says "It's too late"

Turns out "J" needs friends. She doesn't have many. We agreed that people need each other. We agreed that God helps us through challenges.
We agreed to meet again for a chat in the pool.

On the surface "j" just appeared to be a crabby old lady. But everyone has a "back story". "J" is crabby because her pain is sometimes overwhelming to the point she can barely get into the swimming pool. She's crabby because her husband says unkind things that hurt her. She's crabby because she's lonely.

Next time someone is nasty to you, consider discovering their back story. You will most likely find a really nice person beneath that crabby surface. You may hear a story that alters your opinion of that person.
You may even make a new friend!


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I like to swim at our local recreation center. Most of the people who swim there are really nice but there's one woman who has been a bit difficult.

The first time I met her, she got into the pool and barked orders for me to "Get over! I need that spot".  She also smells, bad.
I understood from others who swim that no one likes her because she's "rude and smells".  I thought about how awful she must feel, sensing that no one likes her. That's when I decided we'd become friends.

I started by saying "hi" whenever we'd meet. She usually didn't respond but I continued. Eventually I'd say "hi" then make some comment about the weather.  Sometimes she'd say "hi" back, but not always.  This has been going on for months.

Yesterday I was swimming alone when she came. I said "hi" and moved over so she could have her spot. For whatever reason, I continued talking...about the weather, the warm water, etc.
She edged her way towards me and began talking back. I couldn't believe it! I quit swimming so we could converse.

It turns out "J" is in alot of pain. Thirty years ago she'd been hit by a drunk driver and her back was hurt so badly she was paralyzed for awhile. Swimming got her walking again. But she's not been able to work all these years. Turns out she's been in an unhappy marriage. They almost divorced but didn't. "Now" she says "It's too late"

Turns out "J" needs friends. She doesn't have many. We agreed that people need each other. We agreed that God helps us through challenges.
We agreed to meet again for a chat in the pool.

On the surface "j" just appeared to be a crabby old lady. But everyone has a "back story". "J" is crabby because her pain is sometimes overwhelming to the point she can barely get into the swimming pool. She's crabby because her husband says unkind things that hurt her. She's crabby because she's lonely.

Next time someone is nasty to you, consider discovering their back story. You will most likely find a really nice person beneath that crabby surface. You may hear a story that alters your opinion of that person.
You may even make a new friend!


[comments] => Comment (1) [avatar] => Amy Dee-Kristensen )

Everyone has a Back Story

Posted by: Amy Dee-Kristensen

Tagged in: Untagged 

Amy Dee-Kristensen

I like to swim at our local recreation center. Most of the people who swim there are really nice but there's one woman who has been a bit difficult.

The first time I met her, she got into the pool and barked orders for me to "Get over! I need that spot".  She also smells, bad.
I understood from others who swim that no one likes her because she's "rude and smells".  I thought about how awful she must feel, sensing that no one likes her. That's when I decided we'd become friends.

I started by saying "hi" whenever we'd meet. She usually didn't respond but I continued. Eventually I'd say "hi" then make some comment about the weather.  Sometimes she'd say "hi" back, but not always.  This has been going on for months.

Yesterday I was swimming alone when she came. I said "hi" and moved over so she could have her spot. For whatever reason, I continued talking...about the weather, the warm water, etc.
She edged her way towards me and began talking back. I couldn't believe it! I quit swimming so we could converse.

It turns out "J" is in alot of pain. Thirty years ago she'd been hit by a drunk driver and her back was hurt so badly she was paralyzed for awhile. Swimming got her walking again. But she's not been able to work all these years. Turns out she's been in an unhappy marriage. They almost divorced but didn't. "Now" she says "It's too late"

Turns out "J" needs friends. She doesn't have many. We agreed that people need each other. We agreed that God helps us through challenges.
We agreed to meet again for a chat in the pool.

On the surface "j" just appeared to be a crabby old lady. But everyone has a "back story". "J" is crabby because her pain is sometimes overwhelming to the point she can barely get into the swimming pool. She's crabby because her husband says unkind things that hurt her. She's crabby because she's lonely.

Next time someone is nasty to you, consider discovering their back story. You will most likely find a really nice person beneath that crabby surface. You may hear a story that alters your opinion of that person.
You may even make a new friend!



newlink: /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/Array ( [id] => 195 [title] => Forgiveness: An Act of Kindness You Do for Yourself [alias] => [title_alias] => [introtext] =>

My dining room table set belonged to my Grandma Dee. It has seen better days, and my dad works on it frequently in hopes I will continue to use it. I recall a Thanksgiving dinner, years ago, when my dad, once again, reglued the leg and returned the table to me in time for the big celebration.

Truth be told, that was a special Thanksgiving because it had been two years since we last sat around a table together. I am not proud to say that I'd believed a family member had intentionally hurt me, and it took me some time to forgive. For awhile, I chose not to attend events that included this person.

In a perfect world, this person would have "fess up" to the actions and apologize but it isn't a perfect world. I realized that for me to expect this person to acknowledge the wrongdoing was futile.
So I was stuck being  angry with this person for awhile. I perseverated on the wrongdoing, playing out vengence senarios in my head. I am not proud of this but in order to see  problems clearly we have bring them into the light. 

"Holding a grudge is like taking poison yourself and hoping the other guy dies" Eventually, I was able to see  my grudge was hurting me.

I think we learn the greatest life lessons when we exam our own hearts.

In order to forgive,  I  had to consider my own shortcomings. Just like my old dining room table, we all have weaknesses. One of the weaknesses I had to claim is that when I've been hurt or disappointed by someone, I completely lose trust in them. This has created problems in my own life.  This family member self esteem  issues which often causes dishonesty. Everyone has a weak leg.

That  Thanksgiving  was lovely, filled with memories and lots of laughter. Everyone was very happy to be together again. It was a healing time.

But I kid you not, while everyone was standing at the door, ready to leave, the table leg suddenly gave out and the table fell down.  Everyone was shocked.

Thinking about it later, it made perfect sense to me. Nine people had spent three hours around that table and the pressure was simply too much for the weak leg to hold up.

Kind of like you,me, and that person who did me wrong. When people are under pressure, stressed, or don't feel great about themselves, sometimes they give into their weakness  and do things they shouldn't .
If you have someone to forgive consider their humanness and your own humanness.
Forgiveness doesn't  always mean reconcilliation. In many cases this would be inappropriate. 

Forgiveness doesn't make the wrongdoing alright. Forgiveness allows you to accept the act as wrong even while you forgive the wrongdoer.

Forgiveness is also not necessarily to benefit the wrongdoer. Holding a grudge blocks good stuff from coming your way. So forgiving someone benefits you even more than it will benefit them
.
In the end, forgiveness is an act of kindness you do for yourself.




[fulltext] => [state] => 1 [sectionid] => 16 [mask] => 0 [catid] => 66 [created] => 2010-11-27 09:15:53 [created_by] => 56821 [created_by_alias] => [modified] => 2010-11-29 20:45:44 [modified_by] => 0 [checked_out] => 0 [checked_out_time] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [publish_up] => 2010-11-27 16:15:53 [publish_down] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [images] => [urls] => [attribs] => [version] => 1 [parentid] => 0 [ordering] => 27 [metakey] => [metadesc] => [access] => 0 [hits] => 753 [metadata] => [rating] => [rating_count] => 0 [permalink] => /Amy+Dee-Kristensen/forgiveness-an-act-of-kindness-you-do-for-yourself/ [author] => Amy Dee-Kristensen [authorLink] => /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/ [categories] => Untagged  [jcategory] => MyBlog [createdFormatted] => Nov 27, 2010 [readmore] => 0 [text] =>

My dining room table set belonged to my Grandma Dee. It has seen better days, and my dad works on it frequently in hopes I will continue to use it. I recall a Thanksgiving dinner, years ago, when my dad, once again, reglued the leg and returned the table to me in time for the big celebration.

Truth be told, that was a special Thanksgiving because it had been two years since we last sat around a table together. I am not proud to say that I'd believed a family member had intentionally hurt me, and it took me some time to forgive. For awhile, I chose not to attend events that included this person.

In a perfect world, this person would have "fess up" to the actions and apologize but it isn't a perfect world. I realized that for me to expect this person to acknowledge the wrongdoing was futile.
So I was stuck being  angry with this person for awhile. I perseverated on the wrongdoing, playing out vengence senarios in my head. I am not proud of this but in order to see  problems clearly we have bring them into the light. 

"Holding a grudge is like taking poison yourself and hoping the other guy dies" Eventually, I was able to see  my grudge was hurting me.

I think we learn the greatest life lessons when we exam our own hearts.

In order to forgive,  I  had to consider my own shortcomings. Just like my old dining room table, we all have weaknesses. One of the weaknesses I had to claim is that when I've been hurt or disappointed by someone, I completely lose trust in them. This has created problems in my own life.  This family member self esteem  issues which often causes dishonesty. Everyone has a weak leg.

That  Thanksgiving  was lovely, filled with memories and lots of laughter. Everyone was very happy to be together again. It was a healing time.

But I kid you not, while everyone was standing at the door, ready to leave, the table leg suddenly gave out and the table fell down.  Everyone was shocked.

Thinking about it later, it made perfect sense to me. Nine people had spent three hours around that table and the pressure was simply too much for the weak leg to hold up.

Kind of like you,me, and that person who did me wrong. When people are under pressure, stressed, or don't feel great about themselves, sometimes they give into their weakness  and do things they shouldn't .
If you have someone to forgive consider their humanness and your own humanness.
Forgiveness doesn't  always mean reconcilliation. In many cases this would be inappropriate. 

Forgiveness doesn't make the wrongdoing alright. Forgiveness allows you to accept the act as wrong even while you forgive the wrongdoer.

Forgiveness is also not necessarily to benefit the wrongdoer. Holding a grudge blocks good stuff from coming your way. So forgiving someone benefits you even more than it will benefit them
.
In the end, forgiveness is an act of kindness you do for yourself.




[comments] => Comment (1) [avatar] => Amy Dee-Kristensen )

Forgiveness: An Act of Kindness You Do for Yourself

Posted by: Amy Dee-Kristensen

Tagged in: Untagged 

Amy Dee-Kristensen

My dining room table set belonged to my Grandma Dee. It has seen better days, and my dad works on it frequently in hopes I will continue to use it. I recall a Thanksgiving dinner, years ago, when my dad, once again, reglued the leg and returned the table to me in time for the big celebration.

Truth be told, that was a special Thanksgiving because it had been two years since we last sat around a table together. I am not proud to say that I'd believed a family member had intentionally hurt me, and it took me some time to forgive. For awhile, I chose not to attend events that included this person.

In a perfect world, this person would have "fess up" to the actions and apologize but it isn't a perfect world. I realized that for me to expect this person to acknowledge the wrongdoing was futile.
So I was stuck being  angry with this person for awhile. I perseverated on the wrongdoing, playing out vengence senarios in my head. I am not proud of this but in order to see  problems clearly we have bring them into the light. 

"Holding a grudge is like taking poison yourself and hoping the other guy dies" Eventually, I was able to see  my grudge was hurting me.

I think we learn the greatest life lessons when we exam our own hearts.

In order to forgive,  I  had to consider my own shortcomings. Just like my old dining room table, we all have weaknesses. One of the weaknesses I had to claim is that when I've been hurt or disappointed by someone, I completely lose trust in them. This has created problems in my own life.  This family member self esteem  issues which often causes dishonesty. Everyone has a weak leg.

That  Thanksgiving  was lovely, filled with memories and lots of laughter. Everyone was very happy to be together again. It was a healing time.

But I kid you not, while everyone was standing at the door, ready to leave, the table leg suddenly gave out and the table fell down.  Everyone was shocked.

Thinking about it later, it made perfect sense to me. Nine people had spent three hours around that table and the pressure was simply too much for the weak leg to hold up.

Kind of like you,me, and that person who did me wrong. When people are under pressure, stressed, or don't feel great about themselves, sometimes they give into their weakness  and do things they shouldn't .
If you have someone to forgive consider their humanness and your own humanness.
Forgiveness doesn't  always mean reconcilliation. In many cases this would be inappropriate. 

Forgiveness doesn't make the wrongdoing alright. Forgiveness allows you to accept the act as wrong even while you forgive the wrongdoer.

Forgiveness is also not necessarily to benefit the wrongdoer. Holding a grudge blocks good stuff from coming your way. So forgiving someone benefits you even more than it will benefit them
.
In the end, forgiveness is an act of kindness you do for yourself.





newlink: /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/Array ( [id] => 193 [title] => A Thanksgiving Story about Everyday Heroes [alias] => [title_alias] => [introtext] =>

I heard the most beautiful Thanksgiving story yesterday. My old high school friend Kathy spoke of her aging parents and her sorrow that she lives hundreds of miles away and is unable to help care for them. Her mom , who has alzheimers, was recently moved into a nursing home leaving her father alone in his home. Kathy's dad still spends seven hours a day, at the nursing home, caring for his wife.

Then Kathy told me about the Everyday Heroes who've shown up to help her father. 

It happened that her father ate alone at a cafe every morning. A group of  younger men also ate breakfast at this cafe daily. They noticed he was alone, and eventually asked him to join them at their table. These men have adopted Kathy's father. They take turns shoveling his sidewalk, they get him to his doctor appointments at the VA hospital which is seventy-five miles away.

A family living across the street from Kathy's father, noticed he was alone. Although they have five children of their own, they also adopted him. Every night they either sent a plate over or invite him to join them for dinner. When he is a dinner guest, they called him grandpa and reserve a special "grandpa's place" for him at the dinner table. On weekends when they leave town,  they prepare meals for his weekend, in advance.

These people are Everyday Heroes. 

During this holiday season, let's commit to reaching out to at least one lonely person. Take a meal, take time to visit, offer to give them a ride somewhere, shovel their walk, invite them over for a cup of coffee. Reach out, and give a bit of your wonderful self to another wonderful person.

 They will feel good, for sure, but I bet you will feel even better! 

[fulltext] => [state] => 1 [sectionid] => 16 [mask] => 0 [catid] => 66 [created] => 2010-11-25 06:47:44 [created_by] => 56821 [created_by_alias] => [modified] => 2010-11-26 09:45:14 [modified_by] => 0 [checked_out] => 0 [checked_out_time] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [publish_up] => 2010-11-25 13:47:44 [publish_down] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [images] => [urls] => [attribs] => [version] => 1 [parentid] => 0 [ordering] => 25 [metakey] => [metadesc] => [access] => 0 [hits] => 759 [metadata] => [rating] => [rating_count] => 0 [permalink] => /Amy+Dee-Kristensen/a-thanksgiving-story-about-everyday-heroes/ [author] => Amy Dee-Kristensen [authorLink] => /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/ [categories] => Untagged  [jcategory] => MyBlog [createdFormatted] => Nov 25, 2010 [readmore] => 0 [text] =>

I heard the most beautiful Thanksgiving story yesterday. My old high school friend Kathy spoke of her aging parents and her sorrow that she lives hundreds of miles away and is unable to help care for them. Her mom , who has alzheimers, was recently moved into a nursing home leaving her father alone in his home. Kathy's dad still spends seven hours a day, at the nursing home, caring for his wife.

Then Kathy told me about the Everyday Heroes who've shown up to help her father. 

It happened that her father ate alone at a cafe every morning. A group of  younger men also ate breakfast at this cafe daily. They noticed he was alone, and eventually asked him to join them at their table. These men have adopted Kathy's father. They take turns shoveling his sidewalk, they get him to his doctor appointments at the VA hospital which is seventy-five miles away.

A family living across the street from Kathy's father, noticed he was alone. Although they have five children of their own, they also adopted him. Every night they either sent a plate over or invite him to join them for dinner. When he is a dinner guest, they called him grandpa and reserve a special "grandpa's place" for him at the dinner table. On weekends when they leave town,  they prepare meals for his weekend, in advance.

These people are Everyday Heroes. 

During this holiday season, let's commit to reaching out to at least one lonely person. Take a meal, take time to visit, offer to give them a ride somewhere, shovel their walk, invite them over for a cup of coffee. Reach out, and give a bit of your wonderful self to another wonderful person.

 They will feel good, for sure, but I bet you will feel even better! 

[comments] => Comment (0) [avatar] => Amy Dee-Kristensen )

A Thanksgiving Story about Everyday Heroes

Posted by: Amy Dee-Kristensen

Tagged in: Untagged 

Amy Dee-Kristensen

I heard the most beautiful Thanksgiving story yesterday. My old high school friend Kathy spoke of her aging parents and her sorrow that she lives hundreds of miles away and is unable to help care for them. Her mom , who has alzheimers, was recently moved into a nursing home leaving her father alone in his home. Kathy's dad still spends seven hours a day, at the nursing home, caring for his wife.

Then Kathy told me about the Everyday Heroes who've shown up to help her father. 

It happened that her father ate alone at a cafe every morning. A group of  younger men also ate breakfast at this cafe daily. They noticed he was alone, and eventually asked him to join them at their table. These men have adopted Kathy's father. They take turns shoveling his sidewalk, they get him to his doctor appointments at the VA hospital which is seventy-five miles away.

A family living across the street from Kathy's father, noticed he was alone. Although they have five children of their own, they also adopted him. Every night they either sent a plate over or invite him to join them for dinner. When he is a dinner guest, they called him grandpa and reserve a special "grandpa's place" for him at the dinner table. On weekends when they leave town,  they prepare meals for his weekend, in advance.

These people are Everyday Heroes. 

During this holiday season, let's commit to reaching out to at least one lonely person. Take a meal, take time to visit, offer to give them a ride somewhere, shovel their walk, invite them over for a cup of coffee. Reach out, and give a bit of your wonderful self to another wonderful person.

 They will feel good, for sure, but I bet you will feel even better! 


newlink: /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/Array ( [id] => 191 [title] => Be Mindful of What You Put into the World [alias] => [title_alias] => [introtext] =>

  I believe people come into my life to teach me and lately a bunch of crabby people have been showing up.

   There was the grocery store clerk, who could barely scrape out a "hello" the day before Thanksgiving. Then the mother to a patient, who was irritable during her child's discharge. My own kids who practically growled when I suggested we decorate for Christmas.

Perplexed, I had to think a bit before coming up with the lesson here. Fact is, all the negativity put a damper on my own mood.

That was it!

If I throw the tiniest pebble into a large pond of still water, even that tiny pebble alters the stillness of the pond. It makes a difference.

What we put into the world matters. 

Even though none of those irritable people ruined my day, they did alter it.  

So when you go out into the world this morning, be mindful of what you put into it. 

Because what you do, matters.

 
  

[fulltext] => [state] => 1 [sectionid] => 16 [mask] => 0 [catid] => 66 [created] => 2010-11-23 13:29:32 [created_by] => 56821 [created_by_alias] => [modified] => 2010-11-30 07:02:08 [modified_by] => 0 [checked_out] => 0 [checked_out_time] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [publish_up] => 2010-11-23 20:29:32 [publish_down] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [images] => [urls] => [attribs] => [version] => 1 [parentid] => 0 [ordering] => 23 [metakey] => [metadesc] => [access] => 0 [hits] => 731 [metadata] => [rating] => [rating_count] => 0 [permalink] => /Amy+Dee-Kristensen/be-mindful-of-what-you-put-into-the-world/ [author] => Amy Dee-Kristensen [authorLink] => /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/ [categories] => Untagged  [jcategory] => MyBlog [createdFormatted] => Nov 23, 2010 [readmore] => 0 [text] =>

  I believe people come into my life to teach me and lately a bunch of crabby people have been showing up.

   There was the grocery store clerk, who could barely scrape out a "hello" the day before Thanksgiving. Then the mother to a patient, who was irritable during her child's discharge. My own kids who practically growled when I suggested we decorate for Christmas.

Perplexed, I had to think a bit before coming up with the lesson here. Fact is, all the negativity put a damper on my own mood.

That was it!

If I throw the tiniest pebble into a large pond of still water, even that tiny pebble alters the stillness of the pond. It makes a difference.

What we put into the world matters. 

Even though none of those irritable people ruined my day, they did alter it.  

So when you go out into the world this morning, be mindful of what you put into it. 

Because what you do, matters.

 
  

[comments] => Comment (0) [avatar] => Amy Dee-Kristensen )

Be Mindful of What You Put into the World

Posted by: Amy Dee-Kristensen

Tagged in: Untagged 

Amy Dee-Kristensen

  I believe people come into my life to teach me and lately a bunch of crabby people have been showing up.

   There was the grocery store clerk, who could barely scrape out a "hello" the day before Thanksgiving. Then the mother to a patient, who was irritable during her child's discharge. My own kids who practically growled when I suggested we decorate for Christmas.

Perplexed, I had to think a bit before coming up with the lesson here. Fact is, all the negativity put a damper on my own mood.

That was it!

If I throw the tiniest pebble into a large pond of still water, even that tiny pebble alters the stillness of the pond. It makes a difference.

What we put into the world matters. 

Even though none of those irritable people ruined my day, they did alter it.  

So when you go out into the world this morning, be mindful of what you put into it. 

Because what you do, matters.

 
  


newlink: /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/Array ( [id] => 189 [title] => Doing a bit extra... [alias] => [title_alias] => [introtext] =>

Doing a bit extra…

Acts of kindness do not take have to take a lot of time or involve money. Often, most acts of kindness involve a simple connecting moments with another human being.

[fulltext] => [state] => 1 [sectionid] => 16 [mask] => 0 [catid] => 66 [created] => 2010-11-23 08:10:01 [created_by] => 56821 [created_by_alias] => [modified] => 2010-11-23 14:29:10 [modified_by] => 0 [checked_out] => 0 [checked_out_time] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [publish_up] => 2010-11-23 15:10:01 [publish_down] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [images] => [urls] => [attribs] => [version] => 1 [parentid] => 0 [ordering] => 21 [metakey] => [metadesc] => [access] => 0 [hits] => 795 [metadata] => [rating] => [rating_count] => 0 [permalink] => /Amy+Dee-Kristensen/doing-a-bit-extra/ [author] => Amy Dee-Kristensen [authorLink] => /Amy-Dee-Kristensen/ [categories] => General Kindness [jcategory] => MyBlog [createdFormatted] => Nov 23, 2010 [readmore] => 1 [text] =>

Doing a bit extra…

Acts of kindness do not take have to take a lot of time or involve money. Often, most acts of kindness involve a simple connecting moments with another human being.

[comments] => Comment (0) [avatar] => Amy Dee-Kristensen )

Doing a bit extra...

Posted by: Amy Dee-Kristensen

Tagged in: General Kindness

Amy Dee-Kristensen

Doing a bit extra…

Acts of kindness do not take have to take a lot of time or involve money. Often, most acts of kindness involve a simple connecting moments with another human being.



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